October 06, 2013

Options

Have you listen to Britney's new single titled Work Bitch? A very inspirational song I must say. Here is the snippet of the lyrics to that song:
You wanna live fancy, Live in a big a mansion, Party in France, You better work bitch..

Ya, i wanna talk about, work, work, work, peeps. Cuz I don't have any bitchy friends. Currently, I am working at Accenture based in Telekom Malaysia. TM is a GLC while Accenture not. Which means, there's no 9-5 terms exist at my workplace. My usual office hour is 9-9 or more.

I must admit, this kind of work is very tiring and exhausting. From time to time, there's some voices in my head desperately asking me to get another job. But till now, I am still here. The main reason I don't want to be here is ofcourse the working hour. It is continuing until I don't know when. In my contract ofcourse it states that my working hours should be the same as TM's, but there's always a term and condition in any contract, which in mine is "Office hours are Monday to Friday - 8.30am to 5.30pm. Actual work hours may vary to support operational requirements." Yup, I copied exactly as stated in my contract. Anyway, that's the main bummer. The pay is kinda standard, for a MNC. I guess.

But, there are several things that keep pulling my butt to sit still in the office chair. The main thing is the field of work. Which is Programming stuff. Well, I have spent my whole 5 sweet years in University to study programming, I think I should not waste it by doing something that I don't like, right? Ya, I have a good passion in this field, which is kinda weird for a lady to be here, usually. But, anyway, I really enjoy my assignments, my tasks, my responsibilities here. 

Second of all is how the seniors and supervisors are taking me seriously. I mean, my work. Even for a very new joiner like me, I must say that they are really putting a big faith in me. I really, really feels that my works is appreciated by them and actually can make some different to the project's progress. The way they make me feels like I'm needed. I want that. I always want to feel that. And currently, they actually let me handle one big assignment for our project replacing my senior (she's been in Accenture for 3 years) who is on training. This is a very important period of my life.

I like it here because my learning curves is not a curve at all. It's like a straight 60 degress. Which means that the learning progress is rapidly increasing. We don't even have any class. The best way to learn for them is On-the-job training, which I must admit that it is really working for me. I like how I have learnt more and faster here than my 5 University's years.

The culture is good too. I think I have spent like 8 years back with my Malay only friends. Here I have widened my view into other race's culture. They make me sometimes think about where's the word racist comes from. I don't even have to speak English 24/7 with them, cakap melayu laju-laju pon some of them boleh faham. We Malays even teach them some Bahasa Melayu Pasar, but they always want to know the not-so-good word je, haha. Anyway, I just want to state that Accenture is so Malaysian.

I can always find another job, that pays me good, nearer to my house and has a short working hours. I actually got some good invitation to interviews but decline them all because of the above reasons. For me, a good pay is never equivalent to a good work experience. At least for now. I really want to do something that I love, not that something that I needed. That something that I need will eventually be there. It always gonna be like that. InshaAllah.

July 28, 2013

the one?

This past month, I am feeling very blessed. Maybe it's the Ramadhan, or maybe because I have been told that someone out there, love me and want to make me his wife. Yup, there's someone out there, for me, and I have found him. Maybe. I have this strong feeling that MAYBE he is the one. But let me clear this thing up first. I am not taken, but I am not available. I would like to label myself as reserved. Reserved for him. 

I am writing this here because I can't really share this thing with people because we both have decided to keep it low, and make this relationship as normal as possible. The only people who knows about this are my parents (yup, I share everything  with them), 2 of my best friends and him. Tapi kalau ada yang dah perasan tu, buat2 tak perasan dah lah ya. Hihi. 

Why we want to keep this thing to ourselves is because we have been friends for quite a long time. And we are so much comfortable with each other. For me, I think, I don't want to let the awkwardness from outside to messed this thing up. And maybe because most of my past relationships don't last long because the eagerness to show my love to that person and as the time passed, I became less passionate. But I really want to make ours work. So let's just keep it cool. Don't want to make the same mistakes. I am 23, I should have learned from experience.

The funny thing about this is, I can say that my mom like him more than I do. My mom like him first before I do. Even my dad involves in this. I don't have to tell them the whole story, they have guessed (even before we have any feeling for each other) that eventually, I will ended up with him. So, I really want to make this relationship works, in one part of it is for the sake of my parents.

I have so many things to write about him here, but I'm afraid that some of my close friends will find out who he is. So, let's wrap it up here. Guys, please pray for us. Pray for me. Pray that our relationship will last till death do us apart, till forever. Pray that I won't make the same mistakes. Pray that he is really the one for me. 

May 06, 2013

The 13th

Alhamdulillah, syukur ke hadrat Ilahi kerajaan yang membentuk Malaysia ke arah kemakmuran diberi mandat sekali lagi untuk memimpin negara.

Yes, undi adalah sepatutnya rahsia but how could you keep your vote or thoughts to yourself when most of the people around you massively bashing the party that makes your life feel safer? People nowadays are too outspoken, lagi lagi yang still in their youth days macam aku ni.  Media sosial yang aku pon terlibat bersubahat dalam membangunkan teknologi ni menjadi punca utama kegiatan "keyboard hero" ini berleluasa.

This 13th election sangat panas yang buat hati aku pon makin panas sebab keyboard hero ni kebanyakannya datang dari opposition parties. The YOUTH has spoken, the PEOPLE is wide awake now, itu yang mereka kata. Tapi diorang lupa, kerajaan sama yang telah menang 12 kali sebelum ni masih ramai penyokong yang mungkin tidak pernah tahu pon apa itu keyboard, apatah lagi teknologi. Statistik sendiri menunjukkan yang peratusan tertinggi pengundi yang keluar adalah mereka yang berumur 40 tahun ke atas, which also shows that this people is at the age of working so hard and makes a lot of money. Contohnya bos aku dan his acquaintance. I am very close to them, so I am allowed to say that. They don't even know how FB works. Maksudnya, whatever accusation (whether it is true or not) that each party gives to the other party, will not affecting the trust or faith that this group of people has in the government that has been formed earlier, asalkan kebajikan mereka terbela. 

Yang nak buat tak bestnya pasal yang kalah ni, dari awal berbulan bulan sebelum pilihan raya lagi diorang dah buat tuduhan ke atas kerajaan ke 13 ni. Contohnya kerajaan tak demokrasi, tak diberi kebebasan bersuara, makanya berlangsung lah Bersih yang mengucar kacirkan Malaysia dan rakyat berbalah sesama sendiri. Bila diberi kebenaran untuk berhimpun secara aman, makanya, kena lah fikirkan alasan baru, contohnya cincin Rosmah mahal, yang ini bunyinya macam kelakar sangat sebab siapa yang reka tuduhan ni dan ramai yang percaya, aku rasa orang ni tahu selok belok macam mana nak tarik pengundi yang tak berapa nak cerdik ni. Mana tak nya, bukan main terang video Mustapha Ali, mati mati tak percaya, cerita cincin dia boleh percaya. rasa kelakar tak? kelakar kelakar. Tapi apa boleh buat, bila hati dah sokong sebelah pihak, memang apa sebelah pihak sana buat semua mestilah tak betul kan. Sama je semua. Lepas habis cerita cincin, cerita Mat Taib Sarawak main kroni pulak. Kroni tak payah cerita laa, aku nak tubuh company baru pon pakai kroni juga. Itu cerita lapuk. Anuar pon sama je, bini siap letak jawatan tu nak bagi dia ambil alih, kenapa yang itu orang tak nampak? Tapi aku tak kata pulak cerita Mat Taib Sarawak tu betul ke tak betul, aku pon tak tahu. Habis cerita Mat Taib, tiba tiba keluar cerita bapa si Saiful tu, kejap belah sana, kejap belah sini. Apa niat dia, dia dan orang yang bersubahat je yang tahu. Habis cerita tu, cerita video Saiful sumpah laknat depan Kaabah pulak katanya super impose. Kelakar kelakar. Ada sahaja tuduhan baru setiap hari. Habis cerita Saiful, cerita dakwat tak kekal pulak. Dakwat tu, memang la boleh hilang kat kulit, kalau kau berusaha betul betul rendam dalam thinner or whatever liquid that you use, tapi still ada kesan celah2 kuku, bukan senang nak hilang. Tak habis lagi cerita dakwat, datang lagi satu tuduhan, Bangla ada IC pergi mengundi. Tadi lama aku beratur nak mengundi, aku nampak abang aku je gaya macam bangla. How is it possible for a foreign people to queue up with us in a long line to vote? Berani ke dia? Habis cerita bangla, cerita bergaduh sampai berdarah2 kat ipoh. Aku tengok video tu, malas nak cakap apa, tengok sendiri full length video, lepas tu fikir sendiri siapa yang mulakan. Aku geleng kepala je. Lepas cerita gaduh, mula lah proses pengiraan undi, and ditakdirkan oleh Allah, BN menang, tapi tak semudah tu, mesti lah ada satu dua lagi cerita, contohnya, peti undi dibawa lari dan blackout, amboiiii, senangnya cerita. Ingat peti undi tu dibawa naik motor EX5 ke untuk ketempat pengiraan? Fikirlah logik sikit. Lagi satu blackout ni, entah mana laa diorang dapat source. 

And now, for those people that wanted to show their protest, have made their profile picture pitch black on Facebook. Who cares? Like I said before, most of the voters are 40 years old above, they don't even know that you guys are staying in the dark.

Apa yang aku boleh cakap, kerajaan sekarang perlu buka mata lebih besar. Dengar keluhan rakyat. Bantu rakyat dengan lebih lagi. Jangan nak jaga poket dan perut sendiri je. 5 tahun bukan lama pon, kalau kerajaan masih mentadbir secara sambil lewa, terima lah padahnya nanti. Dan aku masih berharap yang PAS keluar dari Pakatan dan bergabung dengan BN. Ramai orang Islam nak Malaysia ni lebih kearah Islamik, tapi dah kalau tunjang pemimpin Islam Malaysia ni lebih utamakan ego pon tak jadi apa juga. Wallahua'lam. Semoga Allah merahmati Kerajaan Barisan Nasional buat kali ke 13 ni. Amin.

May 01, 2013

reminiscent

you see, i have done things in my life. things that are not so good. i regretted it, and now i am seeking for lights.

you see, some words kinda sounded nice, but are not so good to be practiced. words like "Do whatever you wanted to do. Because life is just too damn short to give a shit and let anybody tell you what to do."i quoted this from one video i watched a couple of minutes ago, and it strikes me to write something about this. YES, watch, read and listen. it will inspires you. i may look lazy, stupid, messy and useless, but the one who knows only knows. and and, yes we need to recite Al-Quran often, but music also keeps your mind fresh.

you see, what i am trying to say here is do not be selfish. yes, you need to think about yourself, but usually, do not put yourself first. yes, it is usually will cost you pain, but as we all know, pain is just Allah's way to forgives our sins. and remember that, what we give, Allah will always returns it back. if things that you are about to do will give you pleasure, but will make others suffers or slightly hurt inside or outside, think about it once first, or twice, thinking won't hurt anybody.

you see, i have regret on so much things because of my selfish ways back then. i thought that it won't affect anyone else, but i was wrong, totally wrong. it gave me pleasure at that time, but affecting the rest of my life, and some part of my family's life. yes, i meet new people from time to time, they may not know what i have been through. but this bad decision i have made in my life, i will never forget. 

you see, sometimes we need to listen to other people. we are not always right. we do need to care about what other people think, as some of it are really helpful for us, maybe not at that exact time but in our future. the most important thing is, look into yourself using other people eyes. are you making the right decisions?