September 19, 2018

Fuck this shit

Last weekend, I did something out of my norm. I booked a place in the city and stay for two nights. Roaming around without thinking much. Basically, living my life.

I met strangers. Travelers. They traveled around the world, solo. They are younger than me. Taking risks, leave things behind, and just go travel. What to do after, they will think later.

And this makes me think, why am I living like this? All I do is work. And I got stressed out almost everyday. Beaten by the work, by the people I have to face. Why do I let myself got beaten just to get promoted every year? I know I can always leave this toxic place, why am I still here?

The weekend made me realize I should live more recklessly. Do not think too much. Do not work too hard to please everyone. I need to think of my own happiness too. I need to take care of myself too. I need to go back to doing things that I love. I need to love myself.

I believe, my current work made me depressed. This is a toxic place. Not healthy anymore. I need to move on.